The Gospel According to John Waters
Where Did You Get This Crap, Taffy?
Meet the Perverts
Two Jealous Perverts
2JP Home > Where Did You Get This Crap, Taffy? > Twelve-Step Program
sitting around with a massive bowl of popcorn watching Female Trouble.
It's the legendary Christmas tree scene.
You are collapsed on the floor, laughing wildly.
Your spouse looks blankly off into space, tries to force a smile, fails miserably.
Your friends complain, "It's all so mean-spirited!"
If you're like the Two Jealous Perverts, you glare daggers at your spouse, roll your eyes at your friends' comment, and sigh. Why, oh why don't they get it? Are you the only one who appreciates the glorious beauty that is a John Waters movie?
You feel so alone, so...so...isolated.
If this scenario sounds familiar, you need the Two Jealous Perverts' Twelve-Step Program. This supportive program is specially designed to help you come to terms with the pain. We'll take you gently by the hand and help you live again, basking joyously in the gentle glow of Divine's trailer burning down.
From now on, when you are confronted with confused stares and prissy comments, just review these 12 easy steps. Soon your psychic scars will be mere beauty marks and you'll be so happy you could put a steak down your pants.
Perhaps our movement will grow into a mighty network of support groups, for sad to say there are many of our kind throughout the world. We are a small movement now, but one that is growing and growing.
Have the courage to introduce yourself and admit your problem. You are among friends. Here lies beauty. Crime and beauty.
Hi everyone. We're the Two Jealous Perverts...and our friends and families just don't get it.
Twelve Easy Steps!